I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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