those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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