I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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