Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
