my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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