Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
