I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
