you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
