She is in my trunk
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
