dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
