Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
