I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
