Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
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