an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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