Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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