I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
