the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
