I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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