this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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