how can u be prego again
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
