Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
