3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
