I wish i was in the wii world.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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