a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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