did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
