did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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