Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
After last night, I could never be a politician.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Randomize
