HIV tests are more positive than that guy
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
