This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
