I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dicks are not precious.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
