Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
