I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
