Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
