Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
did i just pee glitter
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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