Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize