sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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