just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
