she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
