so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
