Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
