I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
