that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
