Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
