you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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