Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
