I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
