Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
