I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
