u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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