You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize