The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
