that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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