I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
