We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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