If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
