I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
