The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
