Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Rumble strips road head = magical
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
