better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
