Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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