we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
