I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
