You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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