i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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