When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
