how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
