Walk of Shame. In a state park.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
