He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
