I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
