ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
