i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
