im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
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I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
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I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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